My Honest Experience with Therapy | Weekbook #12

Over the last few months I have attended psychotherapy sessions. I’m not ashamed of it, in fact, I’m proud of it. Why? Because it quite literally changed my life.

Over the course of the experience, I explored parts of my psyche that I had never acknowledged, let alone understood. It was a journey through the past, present and how I viewed the future. We questioned the way I react in certain situations, analysing the root cause and discovering ways to make positive change.

We essentially debugged my brain.

But let’s turn the clock back a bit. Why did I need psychotherapy in the first place?

For as long as I can remember, I have been a chronic worrier riddled with anxiety about trivial, everyday interactions such as picking up the phone to call a help line or catching the train. I would overanalyse every possible outcome to a situation, always settling on the worst and convincing myself that it was a certainty. Additionally, I have always struggled with an inferiority complex, constantly thinking that I’m not good enough or that I had to keep proving myself at every possible moment. But what I learned through therapy was that it is within my gift to control both of these, provided I have the right tools.

The first concept we explored was the circle of control, which I’ve written about previously. The TL;DR version is that you learn to understand what you can control, what you can influence, and what you can’t. This concept has enabled me to build an internalised decision tree that I can leverage whenever I start to worry. It boils down to two steps:

1. Can I do anything to control the outcome?2. Can I do anything to influence the outcome?

If the answer to either of these questions is yes, then I take action. If the answer is no to both, then I have to accept that no amount of worrying will change the outcome of the situation, so there’s no point in suffering twice.

As for the inferiority complex, there is one small quote that I’ve instilled within myself to help me cope — “life is a single-player game.”

In essence, the opinions of others are of little importance. Of course, it matters in terms of career progression or gaining opportunities, but as far as my day-to-day life is concerned, the only opinion and definition of success that that matters is my own.

With a combination of these two tools, this experience has truly changed my life. The drastic change in my everyday life cannot be understated. However, it would be unwise for me to say I’m cured, or that I’m better. Like all tools, they only continue to work if you keep them well-oiled and you continually practice them.

I know that the journey ahead will be lifelong, but with these tools and ones I’m yet to learn, I’m now excited to go on the journey, rather than fearing it.

If, like me, you find yourself struggling, please reach out for help. You never know what impact it could have.

Book Notes

I am currently reading Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life.

• Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today.

• Don’t over-estimate your self-knowledge.

• You can find such somethings by asking yourself (as if you genuinely want to know) three questions: “What is it that is bothering me?” “Is it something I could fix?” and “Would I actually be willing to fix it?” If you find that the answer is “no” to any or all of the questions, then look elsewhere. Aim lower.

• You cannot aim yourself at anything if you are completely undisciplined and untutored.

Try this Podcast

Ending Quote

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